hear me now

my phone started losing its charge a little while ago. the loss of charge increased exponentially over the last week. finally, today by lunch time it conked out on me. i called customer service and the girl suggested i take it into the store. they could determine whether or not i needed a new battery and since i was covered under the extended warranty, i could get either the phone or battery replaced. she also said i was eligible for an early upgrade to a new phone at the advertised price. i felt pretty confident at the end of the phone call that i would find a resolution to my lost juice issue.

but i thought too soon. upon arrival at the store i was barraged with a litany of idiotic questions. i found it annoying because they always have some excuse to insinuate that it is YOUR fault for THEIR product’s failure.

did you do the latest upgrade?

i did an upgrade a while ago. at the time i feared my phone would never turn back on and that i lost everything in the process. the last released upgrade was last week you say? well how would that explain my ongoing problem for over a month? why would an UPgrade end up downgrading things?

do you keep it on while you’re on the train?

hell yeah! why would i turn it off for a 30-45 minute trip? and how could that be the issue if i’ve had the phone for a year and a half. i understand that the phone is searching for a signal while underground, but that has to be the equivalent the human energy exerted when an excited child raises their hand.

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it’s my party! link to birthday party invite included

yes, that's me in a box. a typewriter box. that would be a qxy intelligent typewriter box made by exxon. it's so old exxon's trademark expired 10 years ago and, as you may have guessed, the product is rather obsolete.

well folks, the countdown to 30 is almost over.

i’ve been a little busy and couldn’t pull together as many ’30 blanks until 30′ events as i had hoped, but i have decided to do a little something for this tragic momentous occasion.

all in all i’m content with where i am today. i’ve been blessed with a loving family, gnarly friends, good health and the opportunity to pursue my personal and professional goals. i cannot complain about the hand i’ve been dealt (although i will complain about a bunch of other stuff) and i look forward to what the next 60 or so years will bring (being on this earth for 100 years is not necessary unless i’m in ridiculously good shape).

i’m a little peeved that my birthday isn’t included in the NYT On This Day list as an event or as a celebrity birthday… gotta work on that for 2020. but i do have 2 degrees to keep me warm. that should count for something, right?

at any rate, i figured i would look back and regret spending the day in my hot ass apartment all by myself, so without further ado here is:

Continue reading it’s my party! link to birthday party invite included

your ass is in my face

there are rules that people live by in a civilized society. and although some might say that new york city is a zoo, i find that most of the time, people conduct themselves in a civilized manner. in fact, more often than not, new yorkers are quite orderly. for a metropolitan area of nearly 20 million people it’s rather awesome that things run as smoothly as they do.

well, civil order was challenged today. i will tell you how.

Continue reading your ass is in my face

a day in new york (brief satc 2 review included)

my day went something like this…

10:00 am: argue with macy’s about free alterations i’m supposed to get with the millions of dollars i spend there.

2:00 pm: get measured for alterations in smelly men’s fitting room at macy’s. the woman cleaning out the fitting rooms actually sprayed air freshener. men really do stink.

3:oo pm: late lunch on the upper west side at the heights. good time catching up with my friend. then she remembered she had to pick up her child from day care. i know not of that kind of responsibility. 🙂

4:30 pm: wander about the uws. successfully avoided making a new friend while sitting on a bench passing time.

7:00 pm: SATC 2 Time! another friend got vip tickets to a showing at the ziegfried. women of all ages came out with their gal (and gay) pals to enjoy the show. virgin cosmos were served. it was the first time i witnessed shoes get a round of applause. i didn’t bawl through the whole movie this time, but i really did enjoy it. they hit the nail on the head once again with the perfect mix of friendship, relationships and new yorkiness. how cool is it to see a film in a theatre featured in the movie? my favorite quotes were from samantha- “i will ROCK that dress!” and “Lawrence of my Labia”.

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an elated man

have you ever stopped to think about who lived in your home before you did? whether you live in a house or an apartment, odds are someone was there before you. they slept in the bedroom, cooked in the kitchen and showered in the bathroom.

only in rare instances, like the production of an HGTV reality show, do people really interact with the old or new inhabitants of their living quarters. well, i was lucky enough to make the acquaintance of the former resident of an apartment i had down south.

it was a nice apartment, lots of space for the $416 i paid in rent that first year. i enjoyed amenities that i haven’t had the privilege of enjoying since that time – a dishwasher, bathroom counter and rather spacious balcony. but the walls were very very thin. this was bad for two reasons, and before your mind goes there, neither involves me doing anything i can’t share with grandma.

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